#50DaysOfShades Day 16 of 50 – Getting bogged down

Originally today was going to be lazy Saturday, doing a couple of bits and pieces but nothing that would really give me a photo of anything particular to talk about. So the plan was (at some point) to just snap a photo and post it.

The trouble is, when I snapped the photo I was pretty much in the middle of something, so didn’t post it straight away (I tend to post from my laptop rather than phone as posting on personal and business Facebook plus Instagram it’s easier to do the cross checking/proof reading on a decent size screen).

But this gave me time to think, rather than just getting the job done. I’ve got another 34 days so plenty of opportunities to share ponderings, so the odd just a photo is fine. But when I have time to think, I think. It’s pretty much what makes me good at what I do. I think about things in the background (more than my unconscious) I literally work them through while doing other stuff.

This means we have ended up here with me writing and sharing something that maybe will resonate with you. But in reality it has bogged me down (a little) all day. Which on a lazy Saturday is fine, but when there is real work to be done can start to cause issues.

This can happen with things you are putting off because you don’t want to do them, but also (as here) with something you do want to do, but you want to do it bigger and better. However all the speculating of how the bigger and better would look means it actually doesn’t happen.

These could be personal (health/wellness/relationship) or professional (actual job/career etc). No more thinking about it just take the actions. (Where something is better than nothing)

Questions for the day:

Is there a something where you just need to do something?
What is that first step to get the ball rolling?

 

#businesscoach #businesscoaching #gettheballrolling #nextstep #dosomething #takeaction

What are you doing?

One of the big questions about this project is explained in more depth on Day 4

Interested in business coaching?

#50DaysOfShades – Day 14 of 50 – Forgetting what it was like before.

I wasn't really sure if I was going to do any writing today, I knew that the footpath along the river had been closed so went along to get a picture of the closure sign and maybe write something about boundaries, but it had reopened (which I had guessed it would have). So a quick photo in my tatty hat (hopefully getting my other one back this evening).

But then saw a group of huge tree trunks and a pile of wood chips, which probably explains why the footpath was closed.

So back to the trees.

We can all see what they, the space, looks like now and I only walked past the other day. I don’t remember seeing anything that would suggest the dramatic change was about to happen. Having said that I can’t even remember what it used to look like. I can’t remember if the other side had already been cleared, or if this bit was slightly more open.

This got me thinking about how we acknowledge change. How sometimes we don’t even notice it (even when we are working hard for it), the little incremental nudges in a new direction that seem insignificant or ineffective at the time, until we are so far down the line that we cant remember a time before now.

This can be both good, taking us towards something we want, or bad, the little habits/patterns/circumstances that take us away from who we are/what we want. And one day it’s “how did I get here” but you can’t put your finger on the one action, the big leap that made it happen. Or maybe you can, but you never moved past it, you stagnated not consistently taking the little steps (because you could not see any change as you were making them) to get back to where you wanted to be.

… There is a story in The Slight Edge that refers to how the water hyacinth grows, as an example of this kind of compound interest (tomorrows interest applied to today’s stake + today’s interest) doubling every day. And another story from somewhere about two siblings being offered a million pounds or a penny that doubled every day (£5,368,709.12 on day 30 when you do the sums).

These stories are always huge and dramatic, and almost unobtainable, there is no such thing as a doubling penny. (And if someone offers you that as in interest rate it’s likely to be a pyramid scheme)

So just look back at the trees.

They started as a seed that fell or were planted and grew over I don’t know 20, 30, 50 years (I’ve been walking along that bit of river on and off for at least 20 years) and covered the riverbank. And it’s not until now that I notice how much of an impact they have had/space they have taken up.

So the questions for today:

If you look back, 6 months, a year, 3 years. Can you see a significant change? (good or bad)
Is that what you hoped for?
Can you identify something small you can do every day, that will create the opportunities for more of what you want?

#businesscoach #businesscoaching #littlesteps #noticethechange

50daysofshades d14-i01
50daysofshades d14-i03 wood chippings
50daysofshades d14-i04

What are you doing?

One of the big questions about this project is explained in more depth on Day 4

#50DaysOfShades Day 13 of 50 – Time to reflect

For today's #50DaysOfShades the theme is Time to reflect.

As I approach the 2 week mark of this current 50DaysOfShades I wanted to take some time to reflect on how it’s going and what I am experiencing this time round. (So dropped into @Tutus Ethiopian Table for a coffee, no laptop, no writing, just time to sit, and obviously get a photo or two, but mainly to think, but did then sit in the park to write this up)

So how is it going? (for you, drop a comment, and for me?)

Well I have way higher expectations of what it will be this time round. Not sure yet if that means more pressure, or simply that I want it to mean more.

Wanting it to mean more….

There is something in me that is using it to force myself to share more thoughts and insights however they come out that day. Looking back they do tend to be a string of questions for myself and anyone that reads the posts.

It is, no matter what the public rules are, way more than just a photo a day.

There is also something about the combination of screen protector, polarised sunglasses and bright sunshine that means I can’t see a thing when I’m taking the photos so getting way more random shots/poses and amusing pics (particularly like the googly eyes one today). So am definitely embracing the fun side of what comes out which slightly contradicts the ‘want it to mean more’ but if it means I have more fun and you get a laugh maybe that is ‘meaning more’ enough.

All of which prompt the questions:

Do we embrace the fun when things don’t go as planned?

Where do we elaborate on the rules (for ourselves and others)?

Do we write between the lines, leave things unsaid, create judgements that the criteria for have never been expressed?

And what does this do:

Does it make our life easier (as we don’t need to properly express ourselves) or is that only temporary leaving us to deal with the mess it creates later down the line?

#businesscoach #businesscoaching #embracewhathappens #clearcommunication #boundaries

50daysofshades D13-i01 Stephen Wells Sensational Business Coach in hat and shade with coffee
50daysofshades d13-i04 miss Stephen Wells Sensational Business Coach
50daysofshades d13-i06hide
50daysofshades d13-i05 googlyeyes
50daysofshades d13-i07 cup

Interested in business coaching?

What are you doing?

One of the big questions about this project is explained in more depth on Day 4

#50DaysOfShades – Day 11 of 50 – Create the opportunity you are looking for.

#50DaysOfShades - Day 11 of 50 – Create the opportunity you are looking for.
 
I’ll admit I’ve picked a rough time to be doing the 50DaysOfShades. (Last time it was later in the year). For the 3rd day in a row it’s a pretty grim overcast sky, with absolutely no breaks today, not even the tiniest bit of the sun peaking thorough.
 
What does that mean for the daily photo?
Well in all honesty nothing. The photo will be (partly written before the photo) /was taken.
 
How I feel about it is a different matter.
 
Something inside of me wants lovely sunny photos, ones where I need to be wearing the shades. So there was definitely a heaviness in me today, constantly looking out the window is it going to brighten up etc.
 

And there comes the point of today's experience.

 
Awareness of what is around you, what you are looking for is great. (I generally cringe a little when people call it manifestation and law of attraction when it turns up).
If you are not looking for it, you will likely miss it when it is there and all intents and purposes it didn’t happen for you.
 
But if you are looking and you don’t see it (because it’s not there) what can you do?
 
Create the, an, opportunity. Yep it’s down to you.
 
It’s down to you to change the way you think/feel/react.
It’s down to you to take action, to do something that creates something. It may not be 100% what you wanted or envisioned, but will be something more than you currently have.
To create something that hopefully has a proportion of the attributes of your original concept, for me a photo with shades and a smile, but could just as easily be even further away (see yesterday’s grumpy photo).
 

So the questions for you today:

What can you create that looks something like what you want?
What actions can you take that will get you closer, if not fully there?
 
#create #ThinkFeelReact #takeaction #businesscoach #businesscoaching
50daysofshades D11 - Steve Wells at Reading Cemetery

What are you doing?

One of the big questions about this project is explained in more depth on Day 4

50daysofshades d09-i01 Challenging your own outlook

#50DaysOfShades – Day 9 of 50 – Challenging your own outlook

Interesting one for me today. The photo has me wrapped up warm with my jacket on because it was ‘cold’

Well it wasn’t really cold, but I expected it, I felt it, I believed it, I convinced myself it was (going to be) cold. I’d collected my (faulty/partial) evidence and that was it. Cold it was going to be.

Basically it was a bit gloomy outside, it was also a bit blustery so the movement of air though the house had dropped the temperature a little.

So wrapped up and headed out to get my daily photo.

As soon as I shut the door there was an “ah, it’s nowhere near as cold as I thought it would be”

I hadn’t checked the outside thermometers (I’d moved them a couple of days ago an not put them back) so had no reality check on what it was ACTUALLY like outside.

I had jumped to the conclusion based on limited information.

As you can see from the 2nd picture (that I set back up once I got home) it was actually peaking at 30°C outside in the sun, it just happened the wind was coming from the shady side of the house.

This is just a simple example (with no real consequences) of how only looking at one outcome and finding the evidence to support that outcome can lead errors of judgement.

Just check with yourself, Where do you look for evidence that supports you existing point of view? Are you avoiding looking for anything that will counter that view, or simply dismissing it if it is there?

Whenever you do something (that has real consequences) make sure you add a reality check that challenges your existing outlook.

#businesscoach #businesscoaching #realitycheck #challangeyourviews

50daysofshades d09-i01 Challenging your own outlook
50daysofshades d09-i02 Challenging your own outlook

What are you doing?

One of the big questions about this project is explained in more depth on Day 4

Interested in business coaching?
50daysofshades d08-i01 Stephen Wells Feral Working

#50DaysOfShades – Day 8 of 50 – Feral Working

#50DaysOfShades - Day 8 of 50 – Feral Working

 

Decided to take a leaf out of my cats book today and do a little work (ie get my photo and post this.) while sat in some lush greenery

 

Feral Working – Escaping the office and home environment to do some work.

50daysofshades d08-i01 Stephen Wells Feral Working

What are you doing?

One of the big questions about this project is explained in more depth on Day 4

Interested in business coaching?
50daysofshades d07-i01 Stephen Wells Managing Expectations

#50DaysOfShades – Day 7 of 50 – Managing expectations

#50DaysOfShades - Day 7 of 50 – Managing expectations.

Today (2nd June, Jubilee bank holiday) I went into town at lunchtime. I psyched myself up for it to be bustling to unbearably busy. Expecting for everything to take ages with some kind of bank holiday frenzy going on.

But there wasn’t, there were very few people in town, I was quickly in and out of the shops I needed to visit and even had to change the location I had considered for the photo to even get some people in the background.

It did however get me thinking on a tangent about expectations. Where we put those expectations on ourselves and others.

Several years ago I heard the phrase ‘lower your expectations to be happier’ or something along those lines. There are various articles about the concept i.e. Business Insider  https://www.businessinsider.com/lowering-expectations-is-the-key-to-happiness-2014-8?r=US&IR=T  / The Telegraph .

But the general premise is, if you have low expectations they generally get exceeded thus the outcome makes you happier.

However this has never sat very well with me especially when dealing with people. If you have to lower your expectations so low that there is a chance they will exceed them it does not feel to me like there is any point in that interaction. And that ‘no point in this’ made me sad.

That is where boundaries supersede expectations.

In my opinion we can be far happier setting and holding good agreed boundaries, than letting things slide and hoping people magically deliver.

Obviously this starts with oneself.

Learning to communicate what we are (and are not) going to do.

Ensure people are aware of what they CAN expect from us and make sure we deliver that.

Don’t leave them in a situation where they feel they need to lower their expectations of you/your ability/your work for them to be ‘happy’ with what you provide.

Communication and agreement (as always both personally and professionally) are the key.

 

#businesscoach #businesscoaching #expectations #boundaries #communicate #communication

50daysofshades d07-i01 Stephen Wells Managing Expectations
50daysofshades d07-i02 Stephen Wells Managing Expectations

What are you doing?

One of the big questions about this project is explained in more depth on Day 4

Interested in business coaching?

#50DaysOfShades Day 6 of 50 – What resources do you have (to hand) that you are not using?

#50DaysOfShades - Day 6 of 50 – What resources do you have (to hand) that you are not using?

On my walk today it occurred to me that we all (personally and professionally) have a vast number of resource that we simply do not use. Be they skills, connections, equipment, spaces etc.
They are there, they could help (in part) resolve an issue we have, add joy to what we are doing or simply make what we are already doing easier/better.

The space behind me in the picture is a huge area of grass and wild flowers (as well as a large amount of duck/swan and goose poop and a model airplane runway) next to the river. And most people gravitate to the warn out strip close to the river that is rutted and devoid of grass.

I’ll hold my hand up to doing it too (some of the time) but today I made a conscious effort to walk across the grass. To take my sandals off and feel the grass and other plants beneath my feet.
To stop for a moment to notice how tall the daisy (type things, no idea if they are actual daisies) were. Then the buttercups and the little purple things between.

Then oh, ouch, ah the thistles that were hidden by the longer grass.

Even the thistles gave me a lesson, to pause a little to slow down, to look and appreciate everything that is around. To notice that rather than stomping along ‘because I’m out for a walk’ treading carefully and lightly can help get more, to relax more.

This space is just 10mins from my house, in the past I have ‘used’ it to go for a walk (as today) but more recently I have started using it as a route (albeit a longer route) to get to the supermarket. Rather than a few minutes in the car I get a 20-30 min walk (each way) some fresh air, some exercise and some downtime.

So I ask again,
What resources do you have (to hand) that you are not using? What have you forgotten about, are choosing to ignore or have avoided looking for, in your personal and professional life?

#businesscoach #businesscoaching #resources #wellness #noticing #takingaction

As always including the random pic I took while checking the photos as well as the 'good' pics.

50daysofshades D06-i01 - Stephen Wells Sensational Business Coach in hat and shades
50daysofshades Day 06-i04 - Daisy Feet
50daysofshades Day 06-i05 - Checking photo  Stephen Wells Sensational Business Coach in hat and shades

Interested in business coaching?

What are you doing?

One of the big questions about this project is explained in more depth on Day 4